#funny headcannons

[scamanderishredmayniac]

In my head Severus and Sirius are squabbling siblings. I like the idea of these two idiots being yin and yang twins. Lol!

[arkangelo-7]

Love the idea of the Batfamily showing a serious, united front whenever they’re working with the Justice League (i.e., obeying Bruce’s orders without question or defaulting to Dick’s authority, following Bruce’s comm protocol, upholding expected field etiquette, coordinating with one another with terrifying efficiency, and generally just not fucking around), but then the minute they get back to the Cave they immediately start to throw hands over who gets to use the PS5.

[returntosunder]

I feel like this should be brought to everyone's attention

[angstyentropy]

Riddler: Having a hard time answering my Fantastical riddle?

Tim, whispering in Coms: Does anyone know what the answer is?

Babs: Not yet.

Tim: We usually have the answer by now!

Riddler: None of your friends know the answer either?

Tim:

Riddler: Nightwing's away today, isn't he?

Tim: Ho-

Riddler: For a bunch of detectives Batman and him seem to be the only ones who're good at solving riddles.

Tim, flustered: We can solve riddles!

Babs: Now that i think about it, Dick is the one who finds the answer most of the time.

Riddler: No, you can't. I'll come back when Nightwing is back... Or the Bat.

Tim: You're just leaving?!

Riddler: There's no point making riddles if there's no hope in anyone solving them.

Tim, offended: Hey!

Riddler's probably so ooc, sorry!

[arandomao3user]

Felt bored, here's my projecting health issues onto the Batfam again:

Alfred, setting down a pharmacy bag, inhaling sharply: COME GET YOUR DRUGS!

Bruce, dragging himself in:

Tim, slowly looking up from his phone with a dead eyed expression: If it isn't a monster energy drink and seventeen caffeine pills I no no want it.

Cass: I am not on drugs?

Dick: It's our prescriptions, Cass.

Jason: You people are the reason I carry narcan around.

Alfred: You're all on enough prescriptions to fill a pharmacy. Now, let's begin...

Alfred, raising a pill bottle: Pain medication for Master Bruce for the back pain Bane inflicted on him from his wonderful career choices! Unfortunately we don't have the several other medications he should be taking for his mental state...

Bruce: Alfred, please...

Alfred, raising another two pill bottles: Anti-inflammatory and pain medication for Master Dick for his hypermobility he refuses to see a doctor for.

Dick, taking the pills: It's not that painful, Alfie, it's just my bones being slackers :D

Alfred: Master Jason's anti psychotics for the psychosis caused by the Lazarus Pit.

Jason: My therapist is less concerned than last week!

Alfred: Wonderful news, Master Jason... Master Tim, your sleeping pills and anemia medication.

Tim, slowly standing before promptly passing out because POTS sucks:

Alfred, sighing: Somebody please see to it that Master Timothy did not receive another concussion.

Alfred: Master Dick, your ADHD medication.

Dick: I forgot I take these.

Alfred: We know, master Dick.

Bruce, inspecting Tim: Have I failed as a Father?

Alfred: No more than I have. Now, Miss Cassandra, your anxiety medication.

Cass: Thank you, Alfred.

Alfred: You are most welcome, dear. Damian, your allergy pills since you insist on surrounding yourself with farm animals.

Damian: Tt, a runny nose and itchy eyes are a small price to pay for love, Pennyworth.

Alfred: Bipolar medication for Miss Stephanie.

Stephanie: Do you need to announce what the pills are for..?

Alfred: Master Bruce keeps all your information stored on a supercomputer anyone can look at if they guess his password, which is just Master Dick's birthday—

Jason: WHAT!? IT USED TO BE MINE!

Cass: Hurt.

Stephanie: Utter betrayal.

Dick: Wait really??

Bruce: Hrn...

Alfred: And Master Jason's inhaler.

Jason: Wish I had this when I was inhaling all that smoke and died from an asthma attack!

Dick: . . . WHAT!?

Cass: You what?

Jason: B never told you? Yeah, it wasn't the bomb or crowbar that did it, it was the smoke.

Jason: Haha.

Jason: My inhaler broke from the impact.

Jason: I spent my final moments suffocating.

Jason: I died painfully.

Bruce: Hrn...

Tim, slowly coming back to consciousness: Did I die?

Alfred: And Master Tim's testerone.

Tim: Nice. Dick drugs.

Alfred: . . . And birth control.

Tim: Yay, de-baby-nators.

Bruce, sighing: I have failed as a Father...

Jason: Wait, why doesn't Duke have to take medication?

Duke: I do, I just pick it up myself so I don't have to be put through this embarrassment.

Bruce: Are we done here?

Alfred: Yes, thank you for allowing me my weekly enjoyment of having the family in one place and admitting you're all deeply troubled.

Alfred: Good day.

—

[captainsaltypear]

based off a headcanon i came across the other day that i cant get out of my brain (the original headcanon's under the cut)

[unicornpopcorn14]

So we all know by now that Dazai is comfortable enough around Chuuya to show nervousness/worry.

Enough times for Chuuya to pick up on that pattern. The pattern, may I remind you, that doesn't have evident correlation to either nervousness or worry to most people. One that can even be interpreted as misplaced given the situation.

Which means that Dazai has done this in front of Chuuya so often, that Chuuya at first was hella confused, before he finally made a connection between when and why it happens. And still remembered that connection after four years of separation. Which gets us to my point:

What if this isn't the only emotion Dazai displays weirdly?

What if he has multiple unconventional patterns he displays for sadness, frustration, content, or disgust? The times he really feels them, and they become too strong for him to just deal with normally? What if these are the only times he's actually being genuine with his emotions?

And Chuuya is the only one who is familiar with them all?

Dazai would be jumping rope and Chuuya would be like, "quit sulking, let's get icecream"

Dazai hanging upside down on the couch and Chuuya going, "It's okay, mackerel. You can cry."

Dazai actually crying, full on heart-wrenching sobs, and Chuuya unironically going, "What, good news?"

It's just... comforting, for one person in Dazai's life to read him like a book. Everyone else would look at him like he's crazy, displaying wrong emotions/behaviors at the wrong time, but Chuuya knows that it's just how he processes feeling properly, and thus he's the only one Dazai can count on to put things into context and understand, which makes him display them even more openly.

Because Chuuya never shamed him for his quirks, as much as Dazai never did his.

[theshawssperrs]

I can't see bendy being good at math

I put so much effort into the most stupid thing ever oml.

[mingis-orangejuice]

I headcannon MC to be an actual sheep. It's just that Lord Diavolo and all the other demons just think anything from the human world is a human and Solomon didn’t correct them cuz he thinks it's funny. And that's why all the brothers think MC is so cool. But really they’re just a sheep and don’t understand when they're getting lectured by Lucifer or in danger.

Lucifer: MC don’t go up those stairs or there will be dire consequences !!!

Sheep MC: *Stares blankly*

Lucifer:  *starting to get visibly intimidated by sheep MC not saying anything and just quietly staring*

Sheep MC: starts going up the stairs to where Belphie is kept*

Lucifer : *unsure what to do* hey… wait…

Mammon looking on from around the corner: oh wow MC is so cool, they’re even standing up to Lucifer

[monofazz]

Bee being one of the first cogless miners take, my beloved-

[sevrinve]

shapeshifter lavellan and her dreadwolf husband

[mossyboots]

Padmé and Ahsoka (first SW post!)

[loozerboykisser]

Bilbo Baggins is the kind of guy to grab your wrist and be like "oh, would you like some tea" and if you say anything other than yes he'll hold your wrist with iron grip and give you a falsely sweet smile and stare into your fucking soul

[epicmarrowbonesoup]

Headcannon that postcannon Charles doesnt like leaving Edwin alone for long streches of time.

You know the way he did in the beggining of the show, leaving Edwin alone so that Charles could be with Crystal or just giving Edwin space to be with other people(Monty or Niko). I think post-Hell Charles Rowland would feel uneasy about not having Edwin in his line of sight while at the same time not wanting to make a big deal out of it.

Like how in the last episode Edwin is alone and Charles leaves others to pack so he could check up on Edwin, that sort of thing. Or how he was hessitent to follow Crystals plan at first becouse he has to rescue(see) Edwin ( to me it also looks like Charles was so busy rushing to Edwin he didnt noitice Nikos body but that might just be me)

Anyways i think it would be a fun direction to take Charles's characther in. Considering in s1 he is already weary of Edwin spending time with the Cat King, youd get that whole jealousy thing but doubled and mixed in with his feeling of inadequacy as the brawn. But also s1 establishes Charles as being at least partially insecure about their bond: having to correct Edwin whenever Edwin says how Charles would move on quickly and constanty seeking reassurment from edwin about their friendship (ep 1 when he asks what would happen if death came, ep 4 with his fight with the night nurse, seeing Brad and Hunter the best friends as him and Edwin)

And then you also have the reversal of how Edwin was jealous of Charles spending lots of times with Crystal and now Charles is protesting every second Edwin isnt with him. And ofcourse Charles does it from a place of fear and love but Edwin would maybe interpret it the wrong way, who knows?

And, from what the writers have told us, Edwin in s2 spent at least some amount of time flirting with other men (hopefully without Charles lurking in the background) and from what we know from that one cameo Jayden and George did, there was a lot of tension between the boys...

Now im not a writer i didnt write the s2 script or anything, im not saying this is what would have happened in s2 but.... i think the tension might have come from that. From Charles seeing Hell as a traumatic expirience and his PTSD manifesting as his insistence on Edwin not leaving his side, Charles's insecurities and his fear of losing Edwin being at an all time high. While Edwin, who has learnd how to forget Hell, is acting as if nothing happened at all, exploring his sexuality and making new friends in the process.

It would make Charles confront all of the skeletons he's been hiding in the closet but also it would ask the simple question of why is Charles so insecure in their friendship? Why is he constantly mentioning them being best mates? Why does he need it so much? Why is he constantly searching from reassurences that they are best friends?

And for more angst, from Edwins point of view he is doing everything Charles wanted him to do in s1. Hes accepting and letting the dead boy detectives workplace to grow and change, he is being more open and friendlier, he is encouraging Charles friendship/relationship with Crystal and he is no longer playing trauma Olympics at the drop of a hat. So why is Charles so mad? Hes working through his shame and his supiriority complex, hes growing as a person and Charles is still stuck at the staircase.

[pixelscutz]

random jjk headcannons ₊˚✩

nanami - huge fan of doja cat

i’m not even sure why, but for some reason, the lyrics of her songs always turn him on. i mean come on? he can definitely relate to all of her lyrics,, wait actually no that sounds wrong. I hope yk what i mean. 

itadori - loves being babied 

although he wants to be a tough and protective guy in public, trust me, when you two are alone, he loves to lay in between your thighs and hear you sing sweet words to him. now that is the closest thing he has towards heaven. 

megumi - secretly has a sweet tooth

“hell no, i’m not eating that sugary shit, do you think i’m trying to speedrun diabetes?” 

and thennn you’ll find him secretly eating the leftover cake on his bed at 3am.

nobera- used to believe in ghost stories 

tbh, she still believes in some of the ghost stories, i mean when she first found out about jeff the killer and momo she fell down a rabbit hole of worries and fears on what she would do if they randomly appeared one day. although she now knows they don’t exist, she can’t help but always take extra precautions

sukuna - loves being praised like he’s a toddler 

I mean, we already think this guy’s ego is pretty big, but come on? “oh sukuna, you cleaned the kitchen? thank you love, you did such a good job!” he would be rolling his eyes, but secretly he’s jumping and screaming with joy

gojo - loves ariana grande & sabrina carpeter

gojo def understands how to treat a women,, i mean have you seen ari’s and sabrina’s lyrics? they teach him a lot about how to treat a woman, - heck he even studies them.

itadori + nobera - love to troll kids on roblox 

i mean, although they do save people from monsters and supernaturals everyday,, beefing with a couple of kids online doesn’t do any harm..

megumi - huge fnaf kid 

i know i can not be the only one who believes in this, i mean, the entire lore fanctinates him. if you ask him what fnaf is about, he will give you a deep breakdown from start to finish 

megumi + gojo - thinks of gojo as a father figure but will never admit it

once megumi called gojo dad,, yeah and that’s when gojo found out what megumi thinks of him and will always tease him abt it 

sukuna - has a extensive skincare and hair routine

i mean come on? have you ever wondered how his skin is always gleaming, and his hair is so silky? it’s obious this man loves to take care of himself but he will NEVER admit it 

megumi + itadori - they secretly watch romance animes together 

this is the definition of bromance, and they always love gushing over who’s their favorite ship, the annoying characters.. etc etc. so far,, fruit basket is their favorite !

part two soon ? :> 

[lostshulkerbox]

what if instead of snakes, cleo's hair was made of worms-on-a-string